Tuesday, April 13, 2010

As you lay there next to the sea, Girl
You remind me of memories and how freedom used to taste.
You invade my dreams , You're beauty is etched in my work with ink,
But i've forgotten how your face used to look,
All i remember is the softness of your hair,
The contrast of the brown sand with your pearly feet,
The white and blue dress that gently swayed in the direction of the breeze.
I sit by my window sometimes,
Canvas on a stand, a palette in my hand,
I try to paint you,
I try to remember your face,
But only adjectives come to my mind,
Never a picture.
I haven't been able to forget you Girl,
You plague me like thoughts plague the mind,
And the empty canvas still waits to be filled with colour.

(This is a poem for a friend to whom it was promised. My blog is more of a journal for me, but here is a poem i present to you. I hope you like it.)

Thursday, April 1, 2010


In life there come times when you feel lost. Whether it's your sense of identity that gets lost, your essence , your thoughts and opinions change, you don't know. You just feel lost.
This feeling hits you one fine day and you figure out that reaching your lost self was a process of change. A process you didn't realize was taking place. For good or for worse. You change over time.
When you realize you have. When someone tells you , hey , i think you've become a little different than you used to be, and you wonder , is it good or bad?
To yourself, you're still You. You feel you haven't changed. You feel the other person's wrong about you. You still think you are the same person you were a few months back. but the truth is , you're not. It takes time, location, people, to change who you are. And sometimes you can't stop it from happening. It's the development of the unconscious. An unknown agent creeping up from behind you and one day awakening you to the person you have become.
It's important to have a sense of self, of who you are. To know what you want from life and what goals you have set for yourself. Many things will come along that'll blur this image for you. Love, Work, Friends. All of them . But those who have become great have always struck a balance. And the thing is , to strike that balance requires the highest sense of discipline and presence of mind. That is why we can count only a handful of those who are great in this world, for they have achieved the impossible. The perfect Balance.
Since i've started College and left school , a friend told me today , i've changed a lot. When you know that change is for the good , you don't take it badly. It doesn't hurt you. But when you know it's a wrong thing, it does. And it hurt me somewhere. I began reflecting and looking at what i'd become.
I had the same thoughts. I haven't changed. I'm still the same. I'm still me. But i guess i have and don't realize it. For one i knew, the line between me and my aspirations had blurred to a big extent. I'd lost focus, determination. Everything i'd hoped i'd have. I'm older now , but wiser is an adjective i don't want to use for myself yet.
I haven't utilized all of my opportunities, haven't stretched myself, just taken it easy, as it comes. Am i lazy? i don't know. Have i tried to become someone i'm not? I don't know that as well.
But well i guess this moment comes for everyone and then they realize they have to do something about it. And i probably am going to now.
I'm going to be who i Am.