Thursday, April 1, 2010

*Change*

In life there come times when you feel lost. Whether it's your sense of identity that gets lost, your essence , your thoughts and opinions change, you don't know. You just feel lost.
This feeling hits you one fine day and you figure out that reaching your lost self was a process of change. A process you didn't realize was taking place. For good or for worse. You change over time.
When you realize you have. When someone tells you , hey , i think you've become a little different than you used to be, and you wonder , is it good or bad?
To yourself, you're still You. You feel you haven't changed. You feel the other person's wrong about you. You still think you are the same person you were a few months back. but the truth is , you're not. It takes time, location, people, to change who you are. And sometimes you can't stop it from happening. It's the development of the unconscious. An unknown agent creeping up from behind you and one day awakening you to the person you have become.
It's important to have a sense of self, of who you are. To know what you want from life and what goals you have set for yourself. Many things will come along that'll blur this image for you. Love, Work, Friends. All of them . But those who have become great have always struck a balance. And the thing is , to strike that balance requires the highest sense of discipline and presence of mind. That is why we can count only a handful of those who are great in this world, for they have achieved the impossible. The perfect Balance.
Since i've started College and left school , a friend told me today , i've changed a lot. When you know that change is for the good , you don't take it badly. It doesn't hurt you. But when you know it's a wrong thing, it does. And it hurt me somewhere. I began reflecting and looking at what i'd become.
I had the same thoughts. I haven't changed. I'm still the same. I'm still me. But i guess i have and don't realize it. For one i knew, the line between me and my aspirations had blurred to a big extent. I'd lost focus, determination. Everything i'd hoped i'd have. I'm older now , but wiser is an adjective i don't want to use for myself yet.
I haven't utilized all of my opportunities, haven't stretched myself, just taken it easy, as it comes. Am i lazy? i don't know. Have i tried to become someone i'm not? I don't know that as well.
But well i guess this moment comes for everyone and then they realize they have to do something about it. And i probably am going to now.
I'm going to be who i Am.

2 comments:

  1. uv changed in two months - earlier u used to post up the link on my wall when ud write sumthing. now u dont

    exams and grades can dothis - they stir the unrest in us

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  2. It is true. When someone tells you that you have changed and now you aren't the person they used to know it really hurts you. it is tough for us to understand how 'we' have changed.

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